The Temple of Banterbury

Hitler, Molestation and Deceit

and Big Dave!

STARTED AT 7

NOW 7:21

BITCHES LEVELING UP

IM HERE LIKE

DONE THAT ALREADY

FUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK~~~~~

music starts

greener fapping

gonna be a good session

hawk stuff

it has no name

nameless.

tom joins

has more spells

seems happy

half past now

the kingdom is called Ketallia… Quetalia… Cetalia…

elven lands to the north east

tom knows about shit in bondell, its a dock town some big wig wizard lives there.

tom has eaten loads of fucking Profiteroles (didnt google for the spelling)

head to bronson, we want hydra reward (fucking mckee trying to leave us!!)

speak to guard

tells us to see the captain of the guard called… DONDRÉ

CHIT CHAT

REWARD PLS

PLS

PLS. I WANT NEW LONGBOW

COMPOSITE WITH MANY DAMAGES

he gave us 3000g

swag

dollar

WE MADE DANK BANK

hear some rumours

greeners king has basically been Theoden’d

lotr bants

gonna go save him

arrive at city

guards to tell us to not cause trouble

k bro

owl kicks off

no time

owl.PNG

greener has been fired from his job in the kings guard

where is the job center is this city?

NEED MY FUCKING BENEFITS

guards told us where we can find brothels and taverns and shits

lads

wouldnt let us through the gate though

spooky

we find tonnes of whores

tom wants to bang a dwarf

how much to wear you like a glove

changes his mind

casts ray of frost

bouncers fucking mad

basically thought it would be too awkward having chris cyber with him with all of us watching

so he fucking KICKED OFF

half orc bouncers tackle him to the floor

gets punched for 1 hp

we pay 100gp to the FUCKING NARKS

gnomes man fucking pieces of shit

doesnt even have a penis

go into big daves tavern

mckee asks another band of adventurers if any of them are in a band

(we miss you seb)

none of them are

they show a map to us about treasures beneath the city

guarded by terrifying creatures.

hulk hogan is here too.

big dave introduces himself

keeps the drink flowing

fucking big dave. more like BIG LAD

SICK TRANSITION

ESTABLISHING SHOT OF THE INNER WALL

greener speaks with some beast from the guard

alfred his second in command basically disappeared

king has fucked off too

greener contemplating sneaking through the super secret side entrance

d&d 3.5 with splinter cell expansion, sam fisher!!

greener is moving silently down the super secret alleyway

guards being mad that they guarding a shit door

discussing whores

wives

(wives and whores, the dream confirmed?)

greener goes up to them to fake his way in

why are you here?

if i told you id have to kill you

greener rolls a 20 to bluff

gets past the guards

gg wp

greener sneaks in

and wants to get a drink.

fuck me.

5gp for the drink

rip off.

greener finally done with his shit

we order breakfast from BIG DAVE LAD

mckee has halal full english

nerd

seeing the map the adventurers gave us

treck mate

we need red capes.

we buy red capes.

5gp

bargain

absolute fucking bargain.

oliver lad

sells rugs

dunno rly

i buy a nice rug

10gp

i have a rug now.

greener plans shit

involves me

gives me a dagger

so fucking ready.

daggers OUT

FUCKING READY FOR THIS SHIT

greener cant lie his way out of this one

we hit shit

i dont do a whole lot of damage

INITIATIVE ROLLS

we be FIGHTIN NOW

so rolls and shit

not a whole lot to write about. killin shit etc.

just realised we’re killing guards

in greeners city

this can only end well.

dog rips a guards head off

other guard is basically fucked

screams

silenced doe

night night

ITS INTERROGATION TIME

COME ON GRAB YOUR SACKS

WE’LL MAKE EM WET

AND WATER BOARD

tbh think very few of us watch adventure time so ill end that bit here

basically tells us some fun shit

store the bodies in barrels i think? or tom dissolved them with acid, either way, dealt with them. no idea about the blood on the floor, just another day in feindall i guess \o/

we sit in a tavern and chill for a bit, wait for the guard change to try and get further into the castle

we bluff our way in

tom is a great liar

also has a snake* that makes him even better at lying

fucking lie our way in

did actually play a quick game of fifa during this bit because my character sorta just does whatever is fun, these guys so far have proposed pretty fun shit so i didnt have a whole lot to roleplay. FUCKIN ELVES AND SHIT.

we make our way through the castle

unmolested.

MOLESTED LEWL

cleric molests me to go up the stairs

fuckin molestas

MoLeStaSSSS

large desk

molested by numerous papers

poor desk

kings quarters holy shit

lets molest it

so weird that the theoden scene is on peoples mind when i mentioned it earlier in the log

guess its not so weird cos we love cool films.

greener basically wants to molest the king

kneels

let the molestation begin

king is fucking talking some shit

kings guard was tainted? holy shit the DRAAAAAAAAAMA

shadowfell forest is working in different ways

not attacking in the conventional sense

…it has begun to taint (molest?) the minds of people

the snake is german

jesus fucking christ

AUF WEIDERSAAAANE (i dont speak german dont even)

the cleric is now called pedro

his story should become very interesting

king londas

LADDAS YEAAAAAAAAAAAA

LADS ON TOUR

but no for real

564 a.d.

man this is some old shit

kinda hard to immerse my self in being this far in the past when im using fucking 21st century tech to play it but whatever ill get over it

the kings patrons are mercs

replaced the kings guard cos theyre corrupt

we get red passes

woo

no more murdering guards

TEMPLE DISCOVERED BY TRIBAL CLAN IN THE FOREST?

POWER HAS BEEN TAPPED

ALL THE KING KNOWS

LETS US INTO THE ARMORY

still though king is a bit shady..

we get +1 of everything

wicked

im pimped as fuck

so is everyone else

but +11 to attack rolls fucking ell

back to the tavern to see that band of adventurers from before

BIG DAVE THOUGH

BIG DAVEEEEEEEEE

full swing of partying

GNO GNOB GNOME HAHAHA WRECKED BY BIG DAVE

one might say molested by banter.

HAHAH HE SAID UNMOLESTED AGAIN HAHAHAHAHAHHA

we find the cave, didnt get mugged in the slums

find green cum

tom detects magic

waiting for the verdict

hurry chris ad lib faster FUCK

oo its magical.

the magic emanating from this green goo is nonsensical.

the magic is not of this plane

FUCKING PLANES YES

not those kind of planes though.

we throw a stone in this dark cummy fissure

its deep as fuck

we descend anyway though

we are so good.

black screens and shit

calling it gg

*the snake is called hitler

so new cave, new adventure, excite

Comments

Lykenx

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